Disillusioned Discordian

Colds and all that
November 30, 2007, 11:03 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

The trip to the Lake District was jolly good fun, the dancing, the scenery and the company was all excellent. Unfortunately the combined mixture of little sleep and lots of beer left my immune system weakened like a Brown government in a funding scam. A large chunk of this week has therefore been spent in battle with a dreaded winter cold. Alas two days were spent in such an ill state that all I could do was lie there feeling sorry for myself. Such a waste of a day off work, but there you go.

Now this brings me onto the crux of my post, cold and flu remedies. The seasonal changes to our supermarket selves that mark the passing of time bring this season multiple discounts on various remedies. I must say at first I shunned these opting for my own cure of a sliced clove of garlic taken daily with water. In suitable non-scientific terms I think this drives the cold from one’s blood by making it stink to such a degree that it seeks shelter elsewhere. Some may think it has more to do with the chemical compound Allicin. My second line of defense is vitamin C, this is now handily available to man as never before in the form of smoothies. Finally I use a tea comprised of lots of honey, lemon and fresh grated ginger. This tastes nice and lines your sore throat with sugary goodness.

Finally when this fails you can turn to the darkside and bring out Phenylephrine hydrochloride, paraceatamol suspend in a cocktail of surcrose and aspartame… yes we shall be taught the power of the lemsip. After all the naturally remedies you will take a perverse pleasure in turning to the synthesized industrial capitalist solution to the cold. I’m also a firm believer that colds should be feed with lots of soup and bread. In a bleak feverish day a warming bowl of soup can give one the moral uplift to go back and snooze with at least a degree of comfort.


6 Comments so far
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Are you gonna bring a bad cold down South? ‘Cos we have plenty thanks.

Comment by Geeklawyer

I’ll happily be a vector of transference for you.

I’m currently trying to avoid the ‘Yorkshire vomiting virus’ which is apparently a yearly occurrence in these parts.

PS i’ve moved onto Ginger wine as a cure for the later stages of the cold.

Comment by moon23

Mmmmmm, ginger wine.

Having just got over a particularly foul cold, I feel your pain. On at least one day I felt obligated to spend the entire morning, and a small portion of the afternoon, abed.

Life is, after all, horribly taxing, and one must get one’s rest.

Comment by Harry

Indeed you are right Harry, we often forget how taxing life can be. Convalescing should never be taken lightly, after all what can be more important than our health.

Comment by moon23

I all in favour of fair taxation so long as it isn’t overburdensome or a disguised means of for socialist waddle like the redistribution of health.

Comment by Geeklawyer

Redistribution of health? Is that when we are made to swap our decedent diseases such port and stilton induced gout, obesity etc. for Coal lung, consumption and rickets?

Or do you mean a tax based on the state of one’s health. E.g. people who are healthy get normal tax, the obese have to pay fat tax which is double rate. On account that they are the new underclass and we are their natural overlords by account of our physical virtue.
Whereas people who are disabled have to pay triple rate on account that society has to spend money on modifying buildings etc. to accommodate their needs.

Comment by moon23

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