Disillusioned Discordian

Is it a Bird, Is it a Plane, No it’s a SCOASB
October 3, 2007, 9:21 am
Filed under: Current Affairs

The other day I was thinking about the effectiveness of Police Community Support officers (PCSO). Born out of the age of the Anti-Social Behaviour Order (ASBO) and acronyms their job was always a little hazy. I always suspect that a large part of their role was to act as a deterrent, much like the stripes on a hover fly. This suspicion was enhanced when their uniform was changed to make it even more similar to a police officers. As such one can only now tell what type of officer they are purely on their body size. PCSO’s generally being in less shape then real police. I thought that perhaps that their effectiveness could be replicated by cardboard cut outs of Policeman strategically placed amongst our cities. Scare-COASB’s (Committers of Anti-Social Behaviour) or SCOASB for short if you will. I was thus delighted to read in today’s Metro newspaper that such a SCOASB has actually been created. The police have endorsed it saying it helps reduce crime, unfortunately however the SCOASB appears to have been nicked. I don’t think we should be deterred by this dastardly act, but rather seek to improve the design of SCOASB (pronounced SKOO-AZ-BEES). I suggest that a flashing blue light on their helmets and motion sensor activated voice commands could result in a 124% improvement of their effectiveness. Readers are welcome to comment with their own suggestions.

A SCOASB in action


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