Disillusioned Discordian


Coconut Island
August 17, 2007, 9:27 am
Filed under: Current Affairs, Mumbo Jumbo, Philosophy

Once upon a day there was a group of people on a cruise boat. Unfortunately the boat sank and all the survivors had to swim to a nearby desert Island for shelter. Life on the island was hard at first but soon people adapted to their new surroundings. A coconut based economy grew up and at first people fought over the best coconut groves. Over the years a system of coconut government arose from the anarchic dark days of the coconut wars. Coconut Island prospered in a golden age; some folk discussed French philosophy in the infamous Milky Joe circle whereas others set about making their coconut huts and workshops using coconut derivatives.  Trade in the coconut derivatives spread and soon and entire economy had grown on the island. As the first generation of Islanders passed on their offspring inherited the coconut fruits of their labor.

As the years passed so life progressed on the island, some harvested more coconuts. Sometimes this was due to working harder, and sometimes it was due to the luck of having a particularly productive coconut grove. Those with more coconuts saw their position in society rise with the inevitable wealth and social status that passion of a large quantity of coconuts can bring.  As these wealthier people died they in-turn passed on their wealth to the next generation and soon an aristocratic class of coconut islanders emerged. They appointed themselves titles such as Coconut Stewart or Coconut Earl. As they by now controlled a great deal of the coconuts the poorer workers looked up to their coconut overlord’s and went to work in their employment.  

Life was had for the islanders who were born to families with little coconuts and poor grooves. As much as they might struggle they couldn’t afford the costs to go to the best coconut schools or own their own coconut huts. Occasionally one bright worker would manage to earn the respect of the coconut aristocracy but they were often seen as an outsider without the social connections that came from being born to a rich coconut owning family. As this situation carried on the poverty amongst the new coconut working class increased whilst the wealth of the coconut aristocracy increased.  Wealth was seen as a reward for hard work and the wealthy therefore viewed themselves as gifted and deserving of their riches. An entire tradition of wealth was created that supported the notion that the privileged where deserving of their coconuts.  

However one balmy day there was a coconut revolutionary from the Milky Joe circle who lead the workers proclaiming that all men should live equal on the island and the coconut resources should be distributed on merit and need rather than birth privilege. In the future all inheritance was to be taxed to ensure that one coconut family could never over the generations become so powerful that it dominated the Island. In this manner the surplus wealth that some people enjoyed was distributed into a system of governance that allowed for an equal standard of welfare and opportunity to all born into society regardless of their coconut creed. 

 However Herr Redwood wasn’t happy with the way things progressed. He thought that the industrious and deserving wealthy people (for he always equated the two) where having their rewards stolen by the state…. To be continued 

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